Awakening Wednesday — Heckler

By Rob Hardwicke, Product Master, Awakening Mineral Skin Care

It’s already Friday and the “Awakening Wednesday” post hasn’t yet happened.  Time has the nasty habit of swamping both good

Appreciated by a Most Discerning Sector of the Public

intentions and bloggin’ editorial calendars — though I suppose I could procrastinate another 5 days and we’d be back on the Wednesday timetable again!

Of course, there is a world out there where time — and just about every other conventional expectation — doesn’t matter.  In that world, I could wait another six months for a Wednesday to roll around and still feel good about adhering to a schedule.  This is a world served by Heckler Magazine — a magazine who’s tag line is “We bring nothing to the table“.  A world of profoundly comfortable low expectations!

Heckler writes about the netherworld of snowboarding (and skateboarding).  Having sold my own, beloved 1989 Burton Air 1 many, many moons ago, I have shed my image as a cutting-edge dinosaur of the slopes and, with it, any current understanding of snowboarding beyond what I see every four years during the Winter Olympics.  But what I do understand is this: Peeps who read Hecker typically have skin!  (Other traits of the readership which may or may not always be present might include such things as common sense, acceptable standards of personal hygiene, couth, or simply brains — all of which always can grow in over time).  But as soon as skin becomes involved, my level of personal interest spikes.

When my colleagues and I were developing our early Awakening formulations, we concluded that we wanted products with no-nonense qualities — something we started calling by its technical name: “Non Fru-fru” (also known by the francophile polyglots amongst us as “Non-Foufou“).  There couldn’t be a trace of sliminess.  No scent of English roses or fetid floral concoction.  Moreover, our formulations actually needed to DO something good for health of skin.  Not just hype talk, but true action.  Our packaging needed to be practical — something upon which one might sit accidentally and not soil one’s trousers or whatever apparel one might be wearing (and if one were wearing no apparel, one would have no business sitting upon our containers in the first place).   While our targeted audience for our first formulations ended up being avid gardener and equestrian-oriented females, we eventually found our audiences expanding to include a remarkably diverse cross-section of humanity: outlaw bikers, docs, nurses, rockclimbers, bartenders and massage therapists as very substantial market niches (and, as my previous posting on “Greek Fat Wedding…” mentioned: Belgian Malinois und Dachsunds.

These are all people (and canines) who tend to work in extreme conditions:  Grimy, dirty dirt (maybe ‘soil’ would be less redundant); grimy, dirty stables; grimy, dirty doghouses; grimy, dirty bars; grimy, dirty hospitals [just kidding!] and the like.  Which brings me back to Heckler’s readership — extreme people who want & appreciate non Fru-fru feeling & smelling products that just happen to be “industrial strength”.  In other words, the Awakening products that we so lovingly hand craft!

For those fortunate enough to live in the Lake Tahoe area of California/Nevada… [by the way, according to an official act of the California Legistature back in the 1850’s, the lake’s real name is “Lake Bigler” after the sodden 3rd governor of California, John Bigler.  Given the good Governor’s reputation, this was a most controversial act; in fact, the Nevada Washoe Times editorialized, “If a lake of beer is discovered, Bigler will obviously be more suitable, but until that time arrives the native designation should be accepted”, but I digress] … and near Kings Beach, that noted emporium of avante garde apparel, Lakeview Threads, is now carrying a full array of Awakening mineral skin care products for the most discerning of Heckler-reading athletes. bohemians (and sociopaths).

What next for Awakening?  Maybe Tough Mudder!

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Awakening Mineral Skin Care is a boutique formulator of natural, vegan skin care products utilizing concentrated mineral crystals isolated from the Dead Sea, essential oils and botanical extracts.  With only a few exceptions, we call our products by what they do: Awakening HANDS treats hands, Awakening FEET treats feet, Awakening BODY treats bodies, Awakening SCALP treats scalps — you get the idea.  However Awakening MUDFace is mud for the face (and feet!) — so, as with 9th grade English, there are always exceptions to every rule!


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9 Responses to “Awakening Wednesday — Heckler”

  1. Rob – never fear I will be happy to comment on your blog site! I was one of your first clients in the very beginning! I’ve actually tested (2) of your products…loved one and thought the other one needed a little more work in the lab. One is now available and extremely popular and the other one must still be in your lab. All I can say is that your products ROCK! They WORK, they aren’t fru-fru and can be used by both men and women. I recommend them to all of my doctor and nurse friends so maybe that is why your healthcare audience is cheering so loudly! I wish that everyone knew how much you personally do behind the scenes, how hard you really do work and how much you care that your products are simply the BEST! Thank you!

    • Thanks, Jean! We try not to release products from the lab before we’ve gotten it right. Of course, we’re human — at least we think we are — and we have been known for at least one slip up in the past: a ‘limited edition’ of Awakening HANDS in 2006 that bore the very special aroma somewhat akin to pig urine (by company poicy, no pigs were involved — or any other animal, for that matter). I really do appreciate your comments about what we do and how those products have worked for you. PS: We have SEVERAL products still in the lab!

  2. hilarious post, Rob!

    Ya, that’s right. No fake rose scent, just those luscious gingers and spices that I love ‘awakening’ to (ah, couldn’t resist, sorry) with my “hands” and “feet” lotions each morning.

  3. that was very good , i will always be here waiting for more updates.

    • Hi Esmirna —
      I try to update my blog weekly, even though I doubt there will be too many comments like the Heckler post. Snowboarders are crazy people. Best, Rob

  4. i came here just to post this comment thanking you for posting these great articles. those entertain me a lot.

  5. your website is the most informative. i loved your website a lot. thank you.

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